What about all the good stuff…

What about all the good stuff…

So I’ve Talked a lot recently about talking and being positive about yourself, but think i need to be able to recognise all the things I have achieved recently, especially with all the hard things going on at the moment.

I’ve realised that some of the smallest things make me happy. I’m the type of person that never takes for granted something small. For weeks and weeks i’ve been needing to repair my car…..not a cheap thing to do. So I had organised MY FIRST CREDIT CARD. That was scary enough. Up until now I wouldn’t trust myself enough to be able to handle a credit card because I LOOVE shopping…. a lot of women and girls do, and there is nothing wrong with that!

so basically, the biggest feat recently, was paying for my car repairs entirely out of my own pocket. I did not expect how good that would feel. It Feels INCREDIBLE. Such a simple thing and yet it made me feel so good. I was able to pay for something so large, with my own money.

So, then next thing… the credit card. such a long, scary and daunting process just to do the application. Once i had finally finished the application after speaking to the bank and the ATO about HECS and car finance, I finally recieved the email that said “we will get back to you within 3 business days”. So 6 days go past (business days) and i start freaking out, thinking i must have a terrible credit history and they’ve decided to reject me. But finally, on the seventh business day, I get the email saying that I’ve been accepted!

So, the next one might be quite minor to some. For those who haven’t read my previous posts, i love netball. I also LOVE shoes. I also love wearing nice netball shoes when im playing. To be honest with you, I actually hate the bright coloured shoes around at the moment…It just doesn’t match our uniforms very well. For a couple of years now, I’ve been trying to find a nice white pair of netball sneakers. You wouldn’t believe it, but it was so hard! So one day I was browsing through Catch of the Day, and came across a Nike sale page. I was scrolling through, and found the perfect pair of white court shoes! Mind you, they were classed as tennis shoes, but  figured, if they are good enough for tennis, then they must be fine for netball. So, I bought them.

My drivers licence expired a month ago. I went online to pay for 1 year, but realised I had to actually ring someone if i wanted to change my duration to one year instead of 10… I despise ringing people on the phone. I wish everything could be done by email. So, I decided, “why the hell not” and I paid for 10 years. another really small thing to feel good about.

Finally, I had decided to pull myself together and get organised at work. I orders pads, pens, whiteboards, the lot! After doing this, I felt great!

Now, whats the common factor with each of these scenarios? Yes, they all cost money. Now I’m not here to say “money creates happiness”. No, wrong. But, what I realised is that the money I was spending was good money. I was spending money on things that were important. I wasn’t wasting my money on stupid things. For the first time in a long time I felt like an adult who could control their lives, and felt secure in my situation.

You can’t always expect everyone to congratulate you on simple things. It’s not their job. People need to recognise when they do good in life. Some things are hard for people. Something as simple as paying rent can be a struggle, so why not give congratulations when you achieve that goal. When my partner comes home from work without a story about how silly people can be, I say “good on you babe, I’m glad today went well”

being proud of yourself is a vital step in overcoming any mental illness. I’m not saying you need to be stuck up and rude, but acknowledge when you have done something well, or you’ve met that goal you set 3 years ago.

It’s a long and hard process to be fully content and happy with yourself if you’ve ever struggled with mental illness. So maybe If someone you know is struggling, tell them a reason why you’re proud of them. Maybe they need just a little nudge of confidence for them to begin to realise their potential.

until next time…

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Positive talk day 8

Positive talk day 8

Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of nice things to say to, or about myself. However, today was not a bad day. Today I accomplished some of what I wanted to. Now, some people may think this isn’t something positive, but the fact that I was awake, with no headache, not running off iced coffee, is a very good thing.

So frequently I feel exhausted at work, and I even consider quitting my job. Today I felt good.

Last night I finally went and saw my doctor and explained what had been going on. We made a plan, and even the smallest step in the right direction, has made me have one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time 👌🏻

I tried yoga

I tried yoga

I’ve been getting into yoga, or Pilates a bit very recently, and i tell you what, I think it’s for me.

I love the gym. I love doing weights. I hate cardio…but i think that’s the general consensus with people i have spoken to. I had access to a great gym when I was at uni. It was on campus so it was easy to walk down after dinner before bed and do a workout. I used to be a morning person until i moved onto campus. took advantage of my classes being 2 minutes away. Anyway, that’s how i became a night person, and so it suited me best to do my workouts at night.

The point is, is that i loved going to the gym….but now I don’t live at uni anymore and my job took me away from any major gym. I would have to drive about 40 Kilometres before finding a half okay gym…..76 kilometres if i wanted a mainstream Gym. It’s just not practical when i finish work at 4.30pm, and then I have to go home, prepare dinner, prepare for the next day…..also on top of being a netball coach, training twice a week, games every saturday…and then Monday night netball……come to think about it…I can’t see why I’m not more fit than i am…hmm…

Actually I do know. Although I work my butt of doing extreme amounts of cardio, i see no result. No significant result that it. I may tone up a little but I never feel good about myself. When I was at the gym 5-6 times a week, I felt motivated and i felt good about myself. I look back on those photos of me from Uni and think ‘wow, i actually worked so hard back then”. So I think to now when I’m doing stacks of netball and i see no improvement. I play netball because I love it, but as a new member to the club last year, it was also a scary thing for me. It was hard when i knew no one previously at the club. I almost decided to quit. I also had a back injury for half the season…..looking back… It wasn’t the most enjoyable season of netball I’ve had.

I wasn’t enjoying myself. I’d punish  myself when I did something wrong. I was so harsh on myself. Having that kind of attitude is not going to help me be happy and healthy. This year, the season has just begun and so far I’ve been struggling with my fitness. I get exhausted a lot easier these days.  After my wave of depression recently, I realised that when i listened to my sleep meditation before bed, I’d wake up better, than when I hadn’t. This got me thinking. running around doing crazy cardio IS NOT making me feel good right now. Pushing too much can have the opposite effect of what I’m after. So, while thinking about how i really need find time to meditate during the day, I wondered about how mediation made my mind feel. How can I make my body feel like my mind feels after meditation.

Knowing that I will still be doing cardio during netball, I thought, “Hey! yoga and Pilates are like meditation for the body!” so the past few days I’ve been trying it. I’ve been doing complete beginner videos but still, after i finish a workout or recently I’ve found out it’s a ‘Flow’, I feel so good. I don’t mean like I’m ecstatic and wanna laugh and run and jump…I mean I feel calm. My whole body feels calm AS WELL AS my mind. I’ve even found that after a workout walk taller, sit at a computer with better posture and my overall movement feels….lighter somewhat. With how hectic my lifestyle has become, It’s refreshing to be able to have a couple hours of calm where I honestly haven’t thought about work! I’ve found the key and i don’t think I want to give that up anytime soon

 

Util next time…