I bought a dog 🐶

I bought a dog 🐶

Hey guys!

It’s a new day and a new post.

So today I thought I would tell you about my journey to buying my first dog.

I’ve had dogs in the past, but this one a bought for myself to live with me and my boyfriend.

So here’s the story.

When I was a child, my great grand owned a greyhound called twiggy. She was fawn in colour and by far the sweetest, most chilled out dog I’ve ever known.

My mums father used to have greyhounds before he passed, and my mum would always go on about how beautiful they were. Now for a long time, I disagreed because who would want a dog that looks like a praying mantis?

That was what I thought until one day at university we were doing a companion animal practical where we were learning about the signs of an unhealthy cat or dog. It just so happened that we were practicing on greyhounds. And that was it. I fell in love.

The big beautiful souled creatures just wanted love an affection. They wanted to be your best friend and follow you everywhere.

For the past few years I’ve moved basically every year. Now we are living more permanently and I decided it was time to get my dream dog……but it was postponed for various reasons. That was when I started to get quite depressed and anxious about all my other life stuff as well, so it was a shit time really.

I recently had a week of leave and I decided it was time. It was the perfect timing. I told myself it would give me a reason to get up early. It would help me by caring for someone else who needed it. It would stop me from being selfish.

And so, I got bella. A beautiful black greyhound. The joy she has brought me recently is hard to compare to. I’ve been outside more in the last two weeks than I have in the last 8 months. She has given me motivation to become a healthier and happier person again.

Until next time…

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Well here we go!!

Well here we go!!

Okay guys,

It’s time,

I’m changing myself for the better and I’m taking you guys along with me.

So I’ve mentioned before that I gained weight quite quickly at the beginning of the year and it hasn’t budged….well, since then I have been put on antidepressants for my anxiety. For years I thought that if I worked hard enough I would be able to fix myself, why use medication…..

I’ve been on them for two months and I’m incredibly surprised at how good I’ve been feeling mentally lately. I was told that I would possibly gain more weight, have lowered libido, and become numb to my emotions. Thankfully, none of these side effects have occurred.

So to me that’s telling me that I was doing a lot worse than I thought. The fact that some tablets made me feel better than I have in so long made me realise that it was a good thing that i started to take them.

I’m usually a very stubborn person and I like to think I can do everything by my self. This isn’t the case. Although I can be very self motivated, in this situation I did need the help. Some people may be thinking “why dont you just talk to a psychologist and ditch the drugs?”, well I’m also doing that. And I don’t think I’d be a very good patient if I didn’t have that extra help.

I used to think I’d be ashamed of myself if I got help with my mental illness. My mind made me this way so why can’t my mind fix me? I now realise that it’s more than okay to have a little help, and just that little bit of help has motivated me to get serious about my physical health.

I’ve always enjoyed being active. I’ve done many many sports and dancing, I love swimming and I love the outdoors. Since I’ve been largely inactive this past 8 months due to my promotion, I often feel frumpy and oddly exhausted every day, and I truly believe that it’s because I have been so inactive after years and years of doing every activity under the sun.

So now to the point.

I’m officially starting my journey to physical and mental health. I’ve been saying that to my boyfriend for months, but something about documenting it and sharing it with people helps. I guess now people know, I’ll have to keep it up!

So time to get real and show what were working with. To give you an idea, I’m 5’2 and a very hourglass figure. I’ve never been called skinny and I’ve been fine with that! My waist is quite small and is usually a couple sizes smaller than my bust and bum. Okay….here are my starting photos!!!

I’m as big as I’ve ever been here, plus Ive been snacking, so the way I see it.. I can only get smaller!!

A toast to a healthier mind, body and soul!!

Until next time…

Journey to self discovery…

Journey to self discovery…

so recently while scouting the internet, i stumbled upon a list of questions to answer on your journey to self discovery. This one comes from a website lavendaire who talks about embracing your true potential. I thought it was a good idea to give this a go.

 

  1. How do I feel at the moment?
    1. stressed about going to work tomorrow to one of the places I don’t like being with a supervisor I don’t like.
  2. What do I need more of in my life?
    1. positivity
  3. What would make me happy right now?
    1. to be on holidays
  4. What’s going right in my life?
    1. so much stress about work, so many mistakes
  5. What am I grateful for?
    1. I’m grateful for my partner, my family and my stability and security.
  6. When did i experience joy this week?
    1. when my car had been fixed after months of issues
  7. My small victories and successes in the last month
    1. paying for my car repairs…..
  8. What’s bothering me, why?
    1. my job, because the aspects that are causing me severe anxiety are outweighing the good things about it.
  9. Where are my priorities right now?
    1. To improve at work
  10. What do I love about myself?
    1. I’m a bubbly personality, with boobs and bum…
  11. Who means the world to me and why?
    1. My family-even when I’m a nasty piece of work, my family are always there. My Partner. He’s the yin to my yang, he compliments me, he contrasts me, he adores my no matter what stage of life I’m at.
  12. If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
    1. You can’t expect everything to happen without work. You can’t expect a happy life if you don’t respect and care about people the way you want to be respected and cared for.
  13. What advice would i give to my younger self?
    1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. concentrate on yourself. You’ll find a perfect man soon enough.
  14. What Lessons did I learn this week?
    1. I need to stop assuming what people will say or do. It can turn bad really quick.
  15. If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?
    1. bugger……tough question…..I would go back to study something like teaching or psychology.
  16. What’s draining my energy? Can i reduce it or cut it out?
    1. the stress of work..right now, i need to work. I have bills to pay
  17. What does my ideal morning look like?
    1. I wake up an hour before i need to leave, I do my hair and makeup, i put on clean clothes, i make a coffee and breakfast, I watch morning news and then head to work, anxiety free.
  18. What does my ideal day look like?
    1. I go to work happy, I don’t stress about what, or how i say everything to co workers, i come home, i change, i go to extra curricular activities, I come home and make dinner, I shower, watch TV, then go to bed.
  19. What makes me come alive? when was the last time i felt alive?
    1. travelling to places where I feel small, or going to a festival where I can dance and let go of negativities. The last time I felt alive was not too long ago on a work trip to the Gold Coast in early June. I was sitting on the beach by myself and just couldn’t stop smiling and feeling good.
  20. Where does my pain originate? What would need to happen for me to heal?
    1. My pain originates from my lack of self confidence. I need to put myself in a position where I am confident and I love myself. I need to find a job that i love doing every day.
  21. Who inspires me the most? Why am I drawn to those inspirations?
    1. A strange one, but the one who inspired me to start this blog. Glenn Manton. An Ex AFL player who came to speak to us. He was brilliant. He just told stories. Stories about his experiences and the lessons he learned, about the people he’s helped. It was this night that I decided however long it takes, I want to help and motivate people the way he does.
  22. What are my strengths, what am I really good at?
    1. I see myself as quite average, however, I’m good at thinking outside the box. I tend to think of the strange things that other people might not consider or they overlook.
  23. What is something I’ve always wanted to do but have been too scared?
    1. Those merry go round rides that go up into the air, spinning, while you’re sitting in nothing but a child swing seat.
  24. What is something I would love to learn?
    1. I’d love to learn German
  25. What hobbies would I love to try?
    1. Photography, Poetry, creative writing
  26. Where would I love to live in my ideal life?
    1. The Adelaide Hills in South Australia
  27. Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
    1. Germany, New Orleans
  28. What can I do to take better care of myself?
    1. Eat, and eat well
  29. When have i done something that i thought i couldn’t do?
    1. honestly I don’t remember…
  30. At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?
    1. When I die, I want to be remembered for that person that always worked hard, always tried her best and always wanted to make everyone around her happy. I want to be remembered for being there for others.
What about all the good stuff…

What about all the good stuff…

So I’ve Talked a lot recently about talking and being positive about yourself, but think i need to be able to recognise all the things I have achieved recently, especially with all the hard things going on at the moment.

I’ve realised that some of the smallest things make me happy. I’m the type of person that never takes for granted something small. For weeks and weeks i’ve been needing to repair my car…..not a cheap thing to do. So I had organised MY FIRST CREDIT CARD. That was scary enough. Up until now I wouldn’t trust myself enough to be able to handle a credit card because I LOOVE shopping…. a lot of women and girls do, and there is nothing wrong with that!

so basically, the biggest feat recently, was paying for my car repairs entirely out of my own pocket. I did not expect how good that would feel. It Feels INCREDIBLE. Such a simple thing and yet it made me feel so good. I was able to pay for something so large, with my own money.

So, then next thing… the credit card. such a long, scary and daunting process just to do the application. Once i had finally finished the application after speaking to the bank and the ATO about HECS and car finance, I finally recieved the email that said “we will get back to you within 3 business days”. So 6 days go past (business days) and i start freaking out, thinking i must have a terrible credit history and they’ve decided to reject me. But finally, on the seventh business day, I get the email saying that I’ve been accepted!

So, the next one might be quite minor to some. For those who haven’t read my previous posts, i love netball. I also LOVE shoes. I also love wearing nice netball shoes when im playing. To be honest with you, I actually hate the bright coloured shoes around at the moment…It just doesn’t match our uniforms very well. For a couple of years now, I’ve been trying to find a nice white pair of netball sneakers. You wouldn’t believe it, but it was so hard! So one day I was browsing through Catch of the Day, and came across a Nike sale page. I was scrolling through, and found the perfect pair of white court shoes! Mind you, they were classed as tennis shoes, but  figured, if they are good enough for tennis, then they must be fine for netball. So, I bought them.

My drivers licence expired a month ago. I went online to pay for 1 year, but realised I had to actually ring someone if i wanted to change my duration to one year instead of 10… I despise ringing people on the phone. I wish everything could be done by email. So, I decided, “why the hell not” and I paid for 10 years. another really small thing to feel good about.

Finally, I had decided to pull myself together and get organised at work. I orders pads, pens, whiteboards, the lot! After doing this, I felt great!

Now, whats the common factor with each of these scenarios? Yes, they all cost money. Now I’m not here to say “money creates happiness”. No, wrong. But, what I realised is that the money I was spending was good money. I was spending money on things that were important. I wasn’t wasting my money on stupid things. For the first time in a long time I felt like an adult who could control their lives, and felt secure in my situation.

You can’t always expect everyone to congratulate you on simple things. It’s not their job. People need to recognise when they do good in life. Some things are hard for people. Something as simple as paying rent can be a struggle, so why not give congratulations when you achieve that goal. When my partner comes home from work without a story about how silly people can be, I say “good on you babe, I’m glad today went well”

being proud of yourself is a vital step in overcoming any mental illness. I’m not saying you need to be stuck up and rude, but acknowledge when you have done something well, or you’ve met that goal you set 3 years ago.

It’s a long and hard process to be fully content and happy with yourself if you’ve ever struggled with mental illness. So maybe If someone you know is struggling, tell them a reason why you’re proud of them. Maybe they need just a little nudge of confidence for them to begin to realise their potential.

until next time…

Guys I failed…

Guys I failed…

Guys,

I failed my challenge!!

I got to day 9 and then just forgot. I FORGOT TO COMPLIMENT MYSELF! I think it just makes me realise how I don’t give myself as much love, care and attention that I do everyone else in my life.

Basically, I love making people happy. It bring me joy to know that I’ve helped make someone’s day that little bit better, all the while, forgetting about my self.

I really struggled to say something positive everyday for 9 days… I could not find 10 compliments for myself…

this is the lesson I’ve learnt from this failed challenge…. because you always learn from “failure” or more appropriately…. difficult lessons. I’ve learnt that I need to step up and make sure I love myself. I can’t love others properly until I love myself.

Until next time…

Positive talk day 9

Positive talk day 9

So after over a week of positive posting, I’m realising I’m finding it difficult to keep finding something positive to say. It shouldn’t actually be that hard. I don’t have to write whole inspiring posts to be positive talk, I should simply be making sure I have something positive to say about myself.

This challenge was more for myself than any readers, to see if I could actually do it, and to inspire people to be positive about themselves also.

So today, my positive thought is, I am of value, I am useful and I am worth it. And L’Oréal products are great…….😪 sad attempt at a joke there. But L’Oréal have got it right. I am worth it! We are all worth it 😉

Positive talk day 8

Positive talk day 8

Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of nice things to say to, or about myself. However, today was not a bad day. Today I accomplished some of what I wanted to. Now, some people may think this isn’t something positive, but the fact that I was awake, with no headache, not running off iced coffee, is a very good thing.

So frequently I feel exhausted at work, and I even consider quitting my job. Today I felt good.

Last night I finally went and saw my doctor and explained what had been going on. We made a plan, and even the smallest step in the right direction, has made me have one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time 👌🏻