Well here we go!!

Well here we go!!

Okay guys,

It’s time,

I’m changing myself for the better and I’m taking you guys along with me.

So I’ve mentioned before that I gained weight quite quickly at the beginning of the year and it hasn’t budged….well, since then I have been put on antidepressants for my anxiety. For years I thought that if I worked hard enough I would be able to fix myself, why use medication…..

I’ve been on them for two months and I’m incredibly surprised at how good I’ve been feeling mentally lately. I was told that I would possibly gain more weight, have lowered libido, and become numb to my emotions. Thankfully, none of these side effects have occurred.

So to me that’s telling me that I was doing a lot worse than I thought. The fact that some tablets made me feel better than I have in so long made me realise that it was a good thing that i started to take them.

I’m usually a very stubborn person and I like to think I can do everything by my self. This isn’t the case. Although I can be very self motivated, in this situation I did need the help. Some people may be thinking “why dont you just talk to a psychologist and ditch the drugs?”, well I’m also doing that. And I don’t think I’d be a very good patient if I didn’t have that extra help.

I used to think I’d be ashamed of myself if I got help with my mental illness. My mind made me this way so why can’t my mind fix me? I now realise that it’s more than okay to have a little help, and just that little bit of help has motivated me to get serious about my physical health.

I’ve always enjoyed being active. I’ve done many many sports and dancing, I love swimming and I love the outdoors. Since I’ve been largely inactive this past 8 months due to my promotion, I often feel frumpy and oddly exhausted every day, and I truly believe that it’s because I have been so inactive after years and years of doing every activity under the sun.

So now to the point.

I’m officially starting my journey to physical and mental health. I’ve been saying that to my boyfriend for months, but something about documenting it and sharing it with people helps. I guess now people know, I’ll have to keep it up!

So time to get real and show what were working with. To give you an idea, I’m 5’2 and a very hourglass figure. I’ve never been called skinny and I’ve been fine with that! My waist is quite small and is usually a couple sizes smaller than my bust and bum. Okay….here are my starting photos!!!

I’m as big as I’ve ever been here, plus Ive been snacking, so the way I see it.. I can only get smaller!!

A toast to a healthier mind, body and soul!!

Until next time…

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Guys I failed…

Guys I failed…

Guys,

I failed my challenge!!

I got to day 9 and then just forgot. I FORGOT TO COMPLIMENT MYSELF! I think it just makes me realise how I don’t give myself as much love, care and attention that I do everyone else in my life.

Basically, I love making people happy. It bring me joy to know that I’ve helped make someone’s day that little bit better, all the while, forgetting about my self.

I really struggled to say something positive everyday for 9 days… I could not find 10 compliments for myself…

this is the lesson I’ve learnt from this failed challenge…. because you always learn from “failure” or more appropriately…. difficult lessons. I’ve learnt that I need to step up and make sure I love myself. I can’t love others properly until I love myself.

Until next time…

Positive talk day 9

Positive talk day 9

So after over a week of positive posting, I’m realising I’m finding it difficult to keep finding something positive to say. It shouldn’t actually be that hard. I don’t have to write whole inspiring posts to be positive talk, I should simply be making sure I have something positive to say about myself.

This challenge was more for myself than any readers, to see if I could actually do it, and to inspire people to be positive about themselves also.

So today, my positive thought is, I am of value, I am useful and I am worth it. And L’Oréal products are great…….😪 sad attempt at a joke there. But L’Oréal have got it right. I am worth it! We are all worth it 😉

Positive talk day 8

Positive talk day 8

Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of nice things to say to, or about myself. However, today was not a bad day. Today I accomplished some of what I wanted to. Now, some people may think this isn’t something positive, but the fact that I was awake, with no headache, not running off iced coffee, is a very good thing.

So frequently I feel exhausted at work, and I even consider quitting my job. Today I felt good.

Last night I finally went and saw my doctor and explained what had been going on. We made a plan, and even the smallest step in the right direction, has made me have one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time 👌🏻

Day 7 positive talk

Day 7 positive talk

Sometimes pushing yourself to go harder can actually wear yourself it. If realised that if I want to be happy in life with good friends and a happy family, I need to remember what I’m doing things for.

I’ve said to my netball girls before, the happier you are, and the more you’re enjoying netball, the better they will play as a team.

I feel like it’s the same with every day life. If I’m constantly forcing myself to work just because I have to, then I’m not going to be enjoying it. How can someone perform their best when they are unhappy?

I need to create happiness myself. I’m the one who controls how I feel. I’m the one who controls how I react to something. I am the one who controls me. No one else. I’m the one who can make this life a happy life to live.

I’m the one who controls me 🙂

Day 5 positive talk

Day 5 positive talk

I’ve had some shocking relationships in the past. I don’t really regret any of them, because I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.

Today’s positive thought, I’m so incredibly lucky to have my partner by my side. A year and a half in and I’ve never been so happy in a relationship. Even when we argue, even when he doesn’t wash his hair for months…… :/ I love him no matter what.

This feels different to any relationship I’ve been in before. It feels solid. And for that, I’m so thankful.

Day 3 positive talk

Day 3 positive talk

As I sit here home from work today, anxious that I will get in trouble for taking a sick day and not doing my job, I’m finding it difficult to think of something positive.

However, I set myself a challenge and I will see it through.

Although there are people out there that don’t understand and don’t know what to do when you tell them you’re struggling. You will come across some people that you just cannot live without, and who have made you feel worth something.

Today I am recognising the amazing people in my life, and how lucky I am to have them. No matter how you feel, your friends and family care. I have some of the best people in my life, and I am grateful.