Well here we go!!

Well here we go!!

Okay guys,

It’s time,

I’m changing myself for the better and I’m taking you guys along with me.

So I’ve mentioned before that I gained weight quite quickly at the beginning of the year and it hasn’t budged….well, since then I have been put on antidepressants for my anxiety. For years I thought that if I worked hard enough I would be able to fix myself, why use medication…..

I’ve been on them for two months and I’m incredibly surprised at how good I’ve been feeling mentally lately. I was told that I would possibly gain more weight, have lowered libido, and become numb to my emotions. Thankfully, none of these side effects have occurred.

So to me that’s telling me that I was doing a lot worse than I thought. The fact that some tablets made me feel better than I have in so long made me realise that it was a good thing that i started to take them.

I’m usually a very stubborn person and I like to think I can do everything by my self. This isn’t the case. Although I can be very self motivated, in this situation I did need the help. Some people may be thinking “why dont you just talk to a psychologist and ditch the drugs?”, well I’m also doing that. And I don’t think I’d be a very good patient if I didn’t have that extra help.

I used to think I’d be ashamed of myself if I got help with my mental illness. My mind made me this way so why can’t my mind fix me? I now realise that it’s more than okay to have a little help, and just that little bit of help has motivated me to get serious about my physical health.

I’ve always enjoyed being active. I’ve done many many sports and dancing, I love swimming and I love the outdoors. Since I’ve been largely inactive this past 8 months due to my promotion, I often feel frumpy and oddly exhausted every day, and I truly believe that it’s because I have been so inactive after years and years of doing every activity under the sun.

So now to the point.

I’m officially starting my journey to physical and mental health. I’ve been saying that to my boyfriend for months, but something about documenting it and sharing it with people helps. I guess now people know, I’ll have to keep it up!

So time to get real and show what were working with. To give you an idea, I’m 5’2 and a very hourglass figure. I’ve never been called skinny and I’ve been fine with that! My waist is quite small and is usually a couple sizes smaller than my bust and bum. Okay….here are my starting photos!!!

I’m as big as I’ve ever been here, plus Ive been snacking, so the way I see it.. I can only get smaller!!

A toast to a healthier mind, body and soul!!

Until next time…

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I tried yoga

I tried yoga

I’ve been getting into yoga, or Pilates a bit very recently, and i tell you what, I think it’s for me.

I love the gym. I love doing weights. I hate cardio…but i think that’s the general consensus with people i have spoken to. I had access to a great gym when I was at uni. It was on campus so it was easy to walk down after dinner before bed and do a workout. I used to be a morning person until i moved onto campus. took advantage of my classes being 2 minutes away. Anyway, that’s how i became a night person, and so it suited me best to do my workouts at night.

The point is, is that i loved going to the gym….but now I don’t live at uni anymore and my job took me away from any major gym. I would have to drive about 40 Kilometres before finding a half okay gym…..76 kilometres if i wanted a mainstream Gym. It’s just not practical when i finish work at 4.30pm, and then I have to go home, prepare dinner, prepare for the next day…..also on top of being a netball coach, training twice a week, games every saturday…and then Monday night netball……come to think about it…I can’t see why I’m not more fit than i am…hmm…

Actually I do know. Although I work my butt of doing extreme amounts of cardio, i see no result. No significant result that it. I may tone up a little but I never feel good about myself. When I was at the gym 5-6 times a week, I felt motivated and i felt good about myself. I look back on those photos of me from Uni and think ‘wow, i actually worked so hard back then”. So I think to now when I’m doing stacks of netball and i see no improvement. I play netball because I love it, but as a new member to the club last year, it was also a scary thing for me. It was hard when i knew no one previously at the club. I almost decided to quit. I also had a back injury for half the season…..looking back… It wasn’t the most enjoyable season of netball I’ve had.

I wasn’t enjoying myself. I’d punish¬† myself when I did something wrong. I was so harsh on myself. Having that kind of attitude is not going to help me be happy and healthy. This year, the season has just begun and so far I’ve been struggling with my fitness. I get exhausted a lot easier these days.¬† After my wave of depression recently, I realised that when i listened to my sleep meditation before bed, I’d wake up better, than when I hadn’t. This got me thinking. running around doing crazy cardio IS NOT making me feel good right now. Pushing too much can have the opposite effect of what I’m after. So, while thinking about how i really need find time to meditate during the day, I wondered about how mediation made my mind feel. How can I make my body feel like my mind feels after meditation.

Knowing that I will still be doing cardio during netball, I thought, “Hey! yoga and Pilates are like meditation for the body!” so the past few days I’ve been trying it. I’ve been doing complete beginner videos but still, after i finish a workout or recently I’ve found out it’s a ‘Flow’, I feel so good. I don’t mean like I’m ecstatic and wanna laugh and run and jump…I mean I feel calm. My whole body feels calm AS WELL AS my mind. I’ve even found that after a workout walk taller, sit at a computer with better posture and my overall movement feels….lighter somewhat. With how hectic my lifestyle has become, It’s refreshing to be able to have a couple hours of calm where I honestly haven’t thought about work! I’ve found the key and i don’t think I want to give that up anytime soon

 

Util next time…