Well here we go!!

Well here we go!!

Okay guys,

It’s time,

I’m changing myself for the better and I’m taking you guys along with me.

So I’ve mentioned before that I gained weight quite quickly at the beginning of the year and it hasn’t budged….well, since then I have been put on antidepressants for my anxiety. For years I thought that if I worked hard enough I would be able to fix myself, why use medication…..

I’ve been on them for two months and I’m incredibly surprised at how good I’ve been feeling mentally lately. I was told that I would possibly gain more weight, have lowered libido, and become numb to my emotions. Thankfully, none of these side effects have occurred.

So to me that’s telling me that I was doing a lot worse than I thought. The fact that some tablets made me feel better than I have in so long made me realise that it was a good thing that i started to take them.

I’m usually a very stubborn person and I like to think I can do everything by my self. This isn’t the case. Although I can be very self motivated, in this situation I did need the help. Some people may be thinking “why dont you just talk to a psychologist and ditch the drugs?”, well I’m also doing that. And I don’t think I’d be a very good patient if I didn’t have that extra help.

I used to think I’d be ashamed of myself if I got help with my mental illness. My mind made me this way so why can’t my mind fix me? I now realise that it’s more than okay to have a little help, and just that little bit of help has motivated me to get serious about my physical health.

I’ve always enjoyed being active. I’ve done many many sports and dancing, I love swimming and I love the outdoors. Since I’ve been largely inactive this past 8 months due to my promotion, I often feel frumpy and oddly exhausted every day, and I truly believe that it’s because I have been so inactive after years and years of doing every activity under the sun.

So now to the point.

I’m officially starting my journey to physical and mental health. I’ve been saying that to my boyfriend for months, but something about documenting it and sharing it with people helps. I guess now people know, I’ll have to keep it up!

So time to get real and show what were working with. To give you an idea, I’m 5’2 and a very hourglass figure. I’ve never been called skinny and I’ve been fine with that! My waist is quite small and is usually a couple sizes smaller than my bust and bum. Okay….here are my starting photos!!!

I’m as big as I’ve ever been here, plus Ive been snacking, so the way I see it.. I can only get smaller!!

A toast to a healthier mind, body and soul!!

Until next time…

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What about all the good stuff…

What about all the good stuff…

So I’ve Talked a lot recently about talking and being positive about yourself, but think i need to be able to recognise all the things I have achieved recently, especially with all the hard things going on at the moment.

I’ve realised that some of the smallest things make me happy. I’m the type of person that never takes for granted something small. For weeks and weeks i’ve been needing to repair my car…..not a cheap thing to do. So I had organised MY FIRST CREDIT CARD. That was scary enough. Up until now I wouldn’t trust myself enough to be able to handle a credit card because I LOOVE shopping…. a lot of women and girls do, and there is nothing wrong with that!

so basically, the biggest feat recently, was paying for my car repairs entirely out of my own pocket. I did not expect how good that would feel. It Feels INCREDIBLE. Such a simple thing and yet it made me feel so good. I was able to pay for something so large, with my own money.

So, then next thing… the credit card. such a long, scary and daunting process just to do the application. Once i had finally finished the application after speaking to the bank and the ATO about HECS and car finance, I finally recieved the email that said “we will get back to you within 3 business days”. So 6 days go past (business days) and i start freaking out, thinking i must have a terrible credit history and they’ve decided to reject me. But finally, on the seventh business day, I get the email saying that I’ve been accepted!

So, the next one might be quite minor to some. For those who haven’t read my previous posts, i love netball. I also LOVE shoes. I also love wearing nice netball shoes when im playing. To be honest with you, I actually hate the bright coloured shoes around at the moment…It just doesn’t match our uniforms very well. For a couple of years now, I’ve been trying to find a nice white pair of netball sneakers. You wouldn’t believe it, but it was so hard! So one day I was browsing through Catch of the Day, and came across a Nike sale page. I was scrolling through, and found the perfect pair of white court shoes! Mind you, they were classed as tennis shoes, but  figured, if they are good enough for tennis, then they must be fine for netball. So, I bought them.

My drivers licence expired a month ago. I went online to pay for 1 year, but realised I had to actually ring someone if i wanted to change my duration to one year instead of 10… I despise ringing people on the phone. I wish everything could be done by email. So, I decided, “why the hell not” and I paid for 10 years. another really small thing to feel good about.

Finally, I had decided to pull myself together and get organised at work. I orders pads, pens, whiteboards, the lot! After doing this, I felt great!

Now, whats the common factor with each of these scenarios? Yes, they all cost money. Now I’m not here to say “money creates happiness”. No, wrong. But, what I realised is that the money I was spending was good money. I was spending money on things that were important. I wasn’t wasting my money on stupid things. For the first time in a long time I felt like an adult who could control their lives, and felt secure in my situation.

You can’t always expect everyone to congratulate you on simple things. It’s not their job. People need to recognise when they do good in life. Some things are hard for people. Something as simple as paying rent can be a struggle, so why not give congratulations when you achieve that goal. When my partner comes home from work without a story about how silly people can be, I say “good on you babe, I’m glad today went well”

being proud of yourself is a vital step in overcoming any mental illness. I’m not saying you need to be stuck up and rude, but acknowledge when you have done something well, or you’ve met that goal you set 3 years ago.

It’s a long and hard process to be fully content and happy with yourself if you’ve ever struggled with mental illness. So maybe If someone you know is struggling, tell them a reason why you’re proud of them. Maybe they need just a little nudge of confidence for them to begin to realise their potential.

until next time…

Positive talk day 9

Positive talk day 9

So after over a week of positive posting, I’m realising I’m finding it difficult to keep finding something positive to say. It shouldn’t actually be that hard. I don’t have to write whole inspiring posts to be positive talk, I should simply be making sure I have something positive to say about myself.

This challenge was more for myself than any readers, to see if I could actually do it, and to inspire people to be positive about themselves also.

So today, my positive thought is, I am of value, I am useful and I am worth it. And L’Oréal products are great…….😪 sad attempt at a joke there. But L’Oréal have got it right. I am worth it! We are all worth it 😉

Positive talk day 8

Positive talk day 8

Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of nice things to say to, or about myself. However, today was not a bad day. Today I accomplished some of what I wanted to. Now, some people may think this isn’t something positive, but the fact that I was awake, with no headache, not running off iced coffee, is a very good thing.

So frequently I feel exhausted at work, and I even consider quitting my job. Today I felt good.

Last night I finally went and saw my doctor and explained what had been going on. We made a plan, and even the smallest step in the right direction, has made me have one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time 👌🏻

Day 4 positive talk

Day 4 positive talk

Okay,

So today I’m home sick again and I’m terrified of going back to work, just to be told I’ve taken too much time off.

So not really positive talk to begin wit, but you know what? I know I’m good at my job, I know I can make differences that no one else has. I’m strong. I moved interstate completely alone. I’ve taken chances to better myself and I did it all by my self. I left my home behind to work here, and like hell I’m going to give it all up now. I am strong. I will continue and I will prove myself.

If there is something you want in life, only you can claim it. People will test you, they will try to make you doubt yourself, But when you come out the other side, you will be stronger for it. You are worthy of your goals.

Day 3 positive talk

Day 3 positive talk

As I sit here home from work today, anxious that I will get in trouble for taking a sick day and not doing my job, I’m finding it difficult to think of something positive.

However, I set myself a challenge and I will see it through.

Although there are people out there that don’t understand and don’t know what to do when you tell them you’re struggling. You will come across some people that you just cannot live without, and who have made you feel worth something.

Today I am recognising the amazing people in my life, and how lucky I am to have them. No matter how you feel, your friends and family care. I have some of the best people in my life, and I am grateful.

A new challenge

A new challenge

Negativity, can rule an anxious persons life. I think I need some positivity in my every day thoughts.

I’ve decided to challenge my self to post a positive, or motivational post every day for two weeks. Not only am I hoping to improve my mental well-being, I’m also hoping that some people will be able to read the post, and feel, even just for a fleeting moment, better about themselves or their situation. Maybe some people will feel empowered.

I challenge anyone out there who reads this, to say something positive or encouraging to themselves every day. There is always something good in every day. Even when you feel as though the world is on your shoulders, there is something good in every day!

For example, when I was at uni one day in first year, i had a girl I considered one of my best friends accuse me of spreading some nasty stuff about her. That was the first of many negative things that day. Next I realised I had failed a term topic test for chemistry. Next I was late for a very important tutorial, and at the end of the day I had a migraine, a two hour trip home on a train, no pain killers and no water….that night I ended up vomiting and in bed before eating anything.

But, what was the good thing that happened that day? I hear you all asking. Well even though I had this thought the next day, I still reflected on something positive that happened on an awful day.

I remember looking up and the sky, blue, with whips of white, and thinking “how beautiful is this day”

As small as that was, it meant I was okay. I was okay enough to appreciate the day. Sometimes I feel that if I can find one thing to be happy about each day, then I am able to ground myself and not fall into despair. I can hold onto those positive thoughts and tell myself, that not everything is hopeless. It means that I have the strength to pull myself up and move on.

This one memory I often fall back to. I often remind myself of how I felt in that moment. I was okay. And if I keep finding the good in a seemingly dreary day, then I’ll be okay.

And so today’s motivation

After a storm comes the sun. Both are needed in life to grow and thrive.

Until next time…